All Alone


They say The truth will set you free,,,Set Neal free alright,,,Right out the house!

Being alone is the worst feeling someone could ever have. When I came out being gay to my family I was told just to leave.  Because my dad was very straight, so he couldn’t handle it since he was all that man.  But I felt that I had to tell them I thought I had a close family who could talk about our feelings, we use too.  Until that day I begged, I pleaded.  My dad would hear nothing of it.  I knew my mother whom I loved so much along side my brother and sister.  I was the middle child, my mom just turned and walked away.  I didn’t get mad at her because I knew it would be me or dad, so it wasn’t a question DAD.  But my brother and sister they told me to keep in touch that they would try and be there for me but we couldn’t let dad know or they would be out too.  I was only 15 scared and nowhere to turn.  I didn’t live in a big city I lived in Santa Clarita, some miles north of the San Fernando Valley.  Where do I go, what do I do.  I had packed my backpack that I use for school; thank God it was big enough for some clothes a toothbrush, basics. What’s basic at 15?  I didn’t even get a chance to cry… I went into the bathroom for a minute , I came out to see my dad throwing my backpack out the front door yelling my name NEAL get out.  I begged Dad don’t do this I love you guys you’re all I have.  He just looked and said HAD QUEER!  so I headed toward the main street thinking why, how could they just throw me out like that my mom accepting it dad having no concern for his child at all.  I had my thumb out and this man stopped and asked where was I going anywhere.  Little did I know he was gay?  He asked if I wanted to come to his house in the San Fernando Valley. OK, I went; at least I wasn’t on the street.  That was the beginning of my becoming a hooker on the street.  $20, $40, and $100 depending on what I did or let them do to me.  Most times they wanted to screw.  I realized it was more money, so I gave in.  They didn’t want to use condoms either they would say it felt better something about the sensation…. feeling.  One of the things I noticed in my travels, was they liked drag queens.  The ones I knew were making all kinds of money.  Don’t make me let you think I didn’t talk to my brother and sister sometimes, it was hard.  They worried but couldn’t do help.  Maybe they didn’t want too.  Well, I really found out when I told them I was making money in drag plus that thru it I became HIV positive.  Oh, I’m handling it.  I thought my brother and sister loved me too.  I knew we couldn’t see each other but still I would be there for them.  When I heard the phone hang up in my ear I knew I was all alone.  All of a sudden on this hot muggy day it was cold my whole body had chills.  No mom no dad no brother or sister.  I had to handle this on my own.  I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.  You would think over the past 10 years I would be use to it and be cold.  Well, I am cold….to the JOHNS after I get paid.  But I will never get used to the idea of not having my family. But I got to go make some money got to eat.  SEE YEA.

Get prepared for our Crowd Funding Campaign followers.  This is going to be a film you will want to see.  Coming Soon!!



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